


The Tavern?

by witchspookchat



Category: Arthurian Mythology, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gaius what were you thinking, Gay, Gen, If You Squint - Freeform, Kilgharrah is mentioned, Kinda, M/M, Mental Rambles, Merlin X Arthur - Freeform, Merlin doesn't know where the Tavern is, Merlin is So Done (Merlin), Merlin is a Little Shit, Merlin is a Little Shit (Merlin), Merlin is at the Tavern, My fic, Oblivious Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Oneshot, Other, SO, The Tavern (Merlin), Where is the Tavern?, apparently that is a tag???, at least he doens't in my fic, gwaine is mentioned, he doesn't know Gaius says he is at the Tavern, i tried to make their relationship like the show, its third person, kinda Merlin POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27524080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchspookchat/pseuds/witchspookchat
Summary: “Have you seen Merlin? I can’t find him anywhere,”“I think he said he was going to spend the day in the tavern,”“Oh did he?”...“Gaius have you seen my useless toad of a servant?”“I’m afraid not.”“Well where on Earth is he?”“Tried the tavern?”“The tavern. Of course.”...“Merlin!”“Uh… He’s garnering herbs, sire.”“But I need him. Now..."“He’s in the tavern isn’t he?”“No sire!"...(Quoes pulled from BBC's "Merlin".)...Merlin doesn't know where the Tavern is.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 225





	The Tavern?

**Author's Note:**

> This is all inspired by a comment I saw on TikTok a month ago.  
> "I like to think Merlin doesn't even known where the tavern is" by @nuggetillustrations.
> 
> I found the idea funny, and wrote this one-shot. Although it ended more crack-like then I wanted... I also made it where Merlin has no idea that Gaius tells Arthur that he is always at the Tavern.

With a loud crash the door to the infirmary opens. Merlin glances up from his reading to see Arthur standing in the doorway with, what Merlin decides is, a constipated look on his face. They keep eye contact for several long minutes before Arthur nods to himself.

“Yes Alright. Let’s go,” The prince gestures back to the door behind him as he strides toward his man servant.

“Go where, sire?” Merlin is not going to waste his day off for some hair brained scheme the royal prat came up with on a whim. He is _not_.

“ _We_ are going to your _favorite_ _place_ Merlin,” said the prince. The older man lifts Merlin from his seat at the table and begins pulling him out the door. The sorcerer barely contains his scowl as he is tugged out the infirmary and down the stairs, cursing Arthur for ruining his nice _relaxing_ day in. It isn’t until they are at the gate that the prince’s words register in his mind.

“My… favorite place?” Quickly sifting through his memories, Merlin cannot recall letting the existence of the great cavern beneath the castle slip to Arthur. Or even the clearing he often frequents to practice spells. What on _earth_ is the clotpole talking about?

“Yes, your _favorite_ place. Now. Lead on, Merlin,” and he does just that. Although the raven haired man still doesn't know where they are going. They stroll slowly through the square, Merlin taking his time in an effort to figure out where exactly they are supposed to be headed. It is when they are passing the smithy he decides to voice his confusion. 

“Where are we going again?” 

_Smooth, very smooth. Arthur doesn’t suspect a thing._

“You know exactly where we are going, Merlin,” the prince scowls. His cornish blue eyes rolling over the townspeople, not paying the panicking sorcerer any attention.

_Maybe he does? No. Merlin, just keep pushing. He doesn’t know. If he did, you’d be on the pyre._

“Oh. But I don’t think I do sire? Would his royal pratness indulge me?” It is definitely obvious that Merlin is pushing this time, and even the oblivious idiot has taken notice.

“The _tavern_ , Merlin. I know you are an idiot, but I didn’t think you were this big a one,” by the scowl on Arthur’s face, Merlin can tell his patience is running thin. _Oops_.

“The...tavern sire?” Why on earth would they be going there? Is there something Merlin doesn’t know?

“Yes Merlin. The tavern,” and the prince sounds so sure. Merlin is slightly afraid of where this is going, but he does not want to pluck at Arthur’s threadbare patience and end up in the stocks… again.

“Ah. Yes... the tavern,” Merlin just hopes he is going the right way. He continues walking through the square. The young manservant gives a bright smile to Arabella at the flower stand, and just as he is passing Brom’s butcher shop Arthur speaks.

“Where _are_ you going?” This stops Merlin in his tracks. Was he not going the right way?

“The tavern sire?” He just wants to be sure. That is why he is asking again. Not to needle at Arthur and watch as he explodes. Merlin does not find any joy in irritating the prince. He _doesn’t_.

“The tavern,” once again, Arthur states the obvious. However will he be king when he is such an oblivious idiot. Merlin fears for the future of Albion, but Kilgharrah _insists_ Arthur is the key to that future.

“Yes,” don’t worry Arthur, Merlin has experience at this. Oh Arthur? What am I doing in your room? Oh just checking for woodworm sire, don’t worry. 

“The one we just passed?” Maybe he spoke too soon. But it’s not like Merlin knows what the tavern looks like, so the blame is entirely Arthur’s.

“Oh. _That's_ the tavern?” Glancing at it, Merlin is unimpressed. It’s horrid. The shutters are barely hanging on, and there looks to be a bit of vomit speckled on the side wall. There is a drunken man laying near the door, and a quick glance at the sun confirms that it is barely noon. Which once again Merlin questions, why _are_ they going to the tavern?

“You idiot. Where have you been going then?” Obviously not here. This place is a hazard, and Merlin knows what hazards look like. Maybe there is another tavern? He sure hopes so, if not he is going to have a _talk_ with Gwaine about where he spends his evenings.

“The tavern? You know… the one.. over there,” please let there be another tavern. Maybe that nice building over there with the flowers? Please say it is that nice building over there with flowers.

“ _That_ is _not_ the tavern,” damn it.

“I’m pretty sure it is,” if Merlin keeps pushing they won’t go into the rat infested shack right. He can be stubborn when he wants to.

“Not. It is not, Merlin,” but then again. Arthur is the prince of stubbornness… and pig headed-ness now that he is thinking about it. The prince drags Merlin out of his thoughts by literally dragging him toward the ‘tavern.’ 

_Quick, he needs to stop him!_

“...are you sure?” He levels his best Gaius look of reckoning at him, eyebrow raised and everything in hopes of making Arthur question his life choices and whether his existence truly matters… Merlin is _very_ familiar with this look.

“Yes! Merlin. I am sure,” curse pig headed clotpole princes. Keep acting innocent Merlin, and maybe he’ll give up. He stares into the older man’s eyes for moment before tilting his head 

“Hmmm… strange,” this causes the prince to sigh. Merlin can’t help but poke the bear.

“What?” Or would it be a dragon in this case? He sure hopes not, as he does _not_ want to be the _lord_ of _Arthur_. He struggles enough as his manservant.

“Merlin… where have you been going then?” Not something he wants to answer. How _do_ you explain magic and being the last dragon lord to Arthur 'I am the Prince of Camelot and you will show me respect' Pendragon.

“Apparently not the tavern,” technically he didn’t lie. That has to count for something right. But then again, why would he go to the tavern of all places? “Merlin. You are an idiot,” says the clotpole. Merlin has been over using that insult lately, perhaps it’s time for a new one. He hasn’t used ‘dollophead’ in a while. 

“I am just saying. If that isn’t the tavern, then I don’t know what is,” just look at the flowers Arthur. Anywhere with flowers has to be nice right?

“ _That_. Is the tavern,” Arthur gestures at the rundown clump of a bulging. Merlin just stares at it a moment before turning back the prince.

“Is it?,” he looks at the building in an exaggerated manner, “Doesn’t get a lot of business then does it?”

“Merlin!” Why does he sound so upset? It isn’t _his_ tavern is it.

“Yes sire?” _Dollophead_.

“Shut up.” 

“Of course sire.” Hopefully he can finish his book before supper. But hey, Merlin had succeeded in stopping the trip to the tavern. That has to count for something right?


End file.
